GAWD! I MISS YOU!

...ngayon lang ako magshashare ng ganito pagpasensiyahan nio na
...pabugso bugso ang aking damdamin
this maybe the story na forever kong itetreasure...
so far this is MY LOVE STORY

i dont know what to say...

im just allowing my feelings to flow...yuck medio emo...senti mode po ako..

its been like what? 4 years? but i still feel the same feelings. parang kahapon lang siya pero bat ganito pa din ang ang dating niya sakin...nagyon lang ako magshare nito actually iba ang pakiramdam ko...

i've been visiting some multiply page of my contacts and i stumbled upon my buddy's account...for the reason that i know his bday is getting near so i wanted to say hi...and eventually it led me to see his pics...i saw common faces...people i knew from school, from my extra curricular activities... i saw pics from his trips pix with kuya martin and all...until i saw this particular set of album where in, i saw his closest friends i believe that its a celebration last march and.....................................

pffft!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i saw him! and ayun nanumbalik ang lahat...

i tried to look for his link kahit pa sobrang kabado ako...i saw it na before pero wala pa siyang laman and now that i believe it has contents na...i tried to open it...pero honestly im hesitant una because i know he will see me and eventually he can visit my page. we haven't communicate since we parted when i was in my later year during my 1st year in ust... he studied in ue...i dont know if he graduated already but his taking up nursing. his one fine man. got values and a guy you wouldn't be ashamed of telling the whole world that this guy is something and that you love him.

wahhhhhhhhhh...agrgg.......... i'm getting to emotional already...so moving on.

i gathered all my strength and eventually i clicked his link..and there it seems like his been active sa multiply for his last login states that he just logged out form his acct. i saw an album just a single one (i'm not sure if he has others for we are not friends)...ahhhh

i miss him... i really do..i couldn't stop typing! about my feelings towards him!

i don't know i had a few relationships but his impact still lingers! is he my first love? maybe...is he my true love? i dont know. i just can't forget those eyes! i can still imagine those lips hayyyyy....

all our moments together are my most memorable...

he made me warched and appreciate broadway films more...his even one of the reason why i persistentky study theater more...i love RENT because of him! i love greenwhich pizza because of him! i started to read poetry and he influenced me in writing literaries...

hay....

i don't know what to say...

we met at gateway.. feb.15 2005, we wtached the opening of BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN its weird kasi we didn't talk that much during the movie but there are times when we tried to hold each others hands... its so cute kinikilig ako ngayon...his may friend pala in one of those first LGBT networking sites. anyways that date led to another we ate at cibo! he treated me! he introduced me to a green grape shake that up to now its the only drink i ordered everytime i dine in cibo.

since then i visit him....even if my gap seniors are a bit mad cause i wanted to go home early...during that time i was in training, for i will run for a local council,

during those times i prayed continously to God to allow me to have this "relationship" last long. for i believe that i want him..i need him... i even prayed that its okay for me to loose in the election just to make that particular request happend.

but i believe that things are meant to happen its already planned! ergggggg!!!

i hate this.. i can't believe that im about to cry now, wait stop!

i just miss him!

and so the night came, and d worst thing that could ever happen to me, then, was he saying goodbye to me! i was so hurt! i cried the whole night and it was the night after the result of the election! which i believe all of you knew that i lost...

life sucks!

it sucks big time! i lost my fight for just 30+ votes and i lost my "special" friend who showed me how to fall in love...

i had a talked with our outgoing ad and one of the closest of my buddy....

i told her our story and i know she feels for me. i even told her that i want to take a leave in school and jjust stay at home... i know a bit crazy but can you blame me.. i lost the election...and i lost the one i love?...and i was 1st year then!


days passed
weeks ended

i pretended to be okay.. i pretended to move on...

god! i soo miss him now!
when i'm stressed i continously watched the RENT copy that i have...

seasons of love- is i believe "our" theme song for him!

i'm pausing now to get a drink...

hay..........

...
...

years came.. i still smiles everytime i had a chance to see something that reminds me of him!

iba siya...iba talaga!

now that i saw him again kahit pic lang... nauulit lahat.. gusto kong balikan!
that night when we bid goodbye... i cried you cried.. i know that its real...its sincere...sabi ko nga sayo diba ayaoko ng umiiyak ka! ayoko ng nakakadama ka ng sakit.. kasi mas ako ang nasasaktan..remember the neclace? you made me a poem out of it its in one of my networking sites do you still have it? we both laugh because it doesn't fit your neck.. but its okay i saw you smile when you received it...
...
to your friends can you give me naman some updates about him...i just want to know..HEHE
and please be quiet nahihiya kasi ko..
...

AND TO YOU, so if you happend to stumble upon this post or a friend will show this to you, pasensiya kana...senti lang hehe and i just want to say that i miss you...and thank you that you're one of the reasons why i happened to know LOVE